In-between Dreams

Where my Wild Devotion has fallen

It’s been a while since I left you- me standing in my cave, you waving and letting me know you would be ready for another story when I was ready to tell it. I imagine you under a tree reading another fantastic book that has you breathless, the sun shaded in just the right way that you can just sit and enjoy the earth and the story. The wind is lightly teasing your hair so you absently brush it away when it tickles your cheek. The leaves rustle, they are nearing the end of this cycle of life for themselves, yet they still dance and play because that’s how you tend to the living of the day if you’re a leaf and a tree.

I stand near you now, wondering what you’re reading. I don’t disturb you because I hate being startled when I’m in the really good part of the book where the outside world is lost. I can tell you’re there, in the part of action and climax because your breath is fast, slightly shallow as you hold the turn of the page in your right hand mindlessly rubbing the edge with your thumb, anxious to move forward, to know what happens and have some semblance of the completion.

I know that feeling- the desire to move forward and know what is next. To understand where the story goes. Yet, I’ve decided to dream bigger than that.

It was the day after the girls started school that I decided I needed to start another 1000 moons focus period. Not only had I distilled down my story of the 1000 moons beautifully, in the process of living those 1000 days I had assimilated the practice of presence and spirit led living into my life. I knew I was ready for a more active challenge that would provide me with the same life altering outcome. I teased an idea around about what I could do with those 1000 days and the universe responded with a flood of affirmation -a note, an email, an accidental webpage stumble, and then of course the seed that was planted two years ago that gave me the initial idea in the first place popped up in the form of a graphic on the side bar of some research. My only thought after all that happened quickly in one day was: Challenge Accepted.

Spirit loves the creative challenges life has to offer. It gets to watch us grow, evolve, love. Our struggle is equal in beauty to that of seedlings that rise and butterflies that emerge. This is how the creative nature in each of us plays out- how will we choose to rise to the occasion? My answer was simple, based off of a quote from Ray Bradbury, I’m going to read a poem, an essay, and a short story daily for 1000 days. The idea is to feed my brain words, concepts, voice, method, art, creative breath. I’m on day 53 as we speak and I’ve only skip one day despite the best efforts of the inner saboteur, the tired victim, the lost child. (It’s a full house up in here.)

These 53 days have felt like going back to school to get my MFA. I joke I’m homeschooling myself. I’m also adding in daily writing- journal, my book and/or a short story. I’ve found a workshop group to share my work and receive feedback. I’ve started a book club in the amazing Secret Library Cafe created by Caroline Donahue, a place to bring together her fans that follow and adore her podcast. I’ve also had stimulating conversations with other writers that are doing their thing and willing to share what they know with me. I’ve discovered my dream, it’s big, it takes time. Hence my reluctance to say I can see the ending. I can’t know how this dream ends because it’s such a big dream, such a space holder in the universe that I can’t see the endgame, yet. I can only see the next step. My small bracket of space to fill in the date and write down my readings for the day. *(You can see my homemade sheet to track my progress in the image above.)

I’ve also stepped back into the world of business- I’m studying to receive my real estate license. It seems less glamorous than chasing my dream of living life as a full time writer, however, under the surface I see how it supports my family business AND gives me the freedom to continue to be a present mom, wife, as well as stretch into life as a full time writer.

All this possible by simply thinking it into creation. Deciding. Allowing. Doing the next step and then receiving.

What big dreams are you cultivating? The whisper of a thought you just had- give it wings. And to feed their life, share with me their beginnings. I love to hear from you the start or middle or end of a dream. This is how magic begins.